Why you’re dealing with fear and trauma again: recovery in him

Why you’re dealing with fear and trauma again:

Perfect Love, and knowing him

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[Link to listen to this YouTube video in full:https://youtu.be/9HF9LgEXgtU]

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This is a post born in necessity from the heart of God himself, whilst he’s on mission: and what that mission looks like, feels like, entails and is— of ‘saving us to the uttermost.’  And I actually hope you will watch or listen— as opposed to reading only.  Because there is much that is not in the typed portion alone, that he desires you would hear and know.

My day began with me attempting to leave a counsel voice message to someone— and the only thing that worked was the first 10 minute clip— the consecutive messages kept deleting as I was making them: this caused me to step back after 3 times, and seek the Lord as to why.  And I believe it’s because he desired of me to flesh this out for us all: as it is much needed enlightenment and understanding with what the Lord is doing in us all— to rescue us, recover us, free us, deliver us, heal us— save us to the uttermost.

Hebrews 7:25

“Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.”

And I had no idea he would say so much, as I quote him— about his ‘plans and procedures’ of desiring, and endeavoring to save every man to the uttermost.  And, as even psychology— study of the human psyche, will inform you that, first— you must see that there is a problem or issue: and we are NOT ALONE in this process, and that should give us comfort.  We are not alone in that we are with Jesus, and he with us; and we are not alone in that our siblings are going through the very same process.

So, let us first define the difference between unconscious, and subconscious, as well as conscious— because we will need this understanding to fully understand what he’s doing in us all, in conjunction with our parts.

The difference between unconscious and subconscious:  The subconscious refers to a part of the mind that operates just below the level of conscious awareness, managing automatic processes like breathing and reflexes, while the unconscious represents deeper, often repressed or forgotten memories, feelings, and motives that are inaccessible to conscious thought: essentially— unconsciousness is where we are not at all intouch with, have zero clue or knowledgeable symptoms perceived— that there is something in us, at all: it is unperceived entirely— no consciousness of it: where as subconscious— is hovering, or existing— just below conscious level; which means— there are flags, signs, and symptoms— that are alerting us to need to ‘dig deeper,’ hence— ‘below or sub,’ under— the surface (the day to day): the Lord desire to pull things deep within, to the subconsciousness— just below the surface of our day to day mind, thinking, and awares; so that we will explore, sort, and renovate with him— joining him in his inner workmanship in us; by bringing it from the depths (unconscious), to the shallower waters (subconscious), to the surface of the water— where he is, in the light, to rescue and save us (hence the photos used in this post/video— where he is the Savior of every man, pulling them from deep waters, where they were buried alive; bringing them all to the surface to breathe again, and walk ‘on the water’ with him— not sink under it.

Dictionary definitions of Subconscious, Unconscious, and Consciousness:

Subconscious:  The subconscious mind is a level of awareness that operates without conscious control— but is still accessible to our conscious thought, if we focus on it. 

• Functions:  It manages automatic bodily processes, stores long-term memories, and influences our habits and instincts. 

• Examples:  Breathing, heartbeat, digestion, walking, and forming habits are all subconscious processes. 

• Accessibility:  While not always readily accessible, subconscious information can be recalled or brought to consciousness with focused attention. 

Unconscious: The unconscious mind, as defined by psychoanalysis, represents the deeper, hidden part of the mind containing repressed thoughts, emotions, and memories that are not readily available to conscious awareness. 

• Functions: The unconscious is believed to influence behavior, particularly in areas related to personality, relationships, and emotional responses. 

• Examples:  Unconscious processes can include suppressed emotions, ingrained beliefs, and even phobias. 

• Accessibility:  Unlike the subconscious— information within the unconscious is typically not easily accessed through conscious recall or introspection. 

Key Differences between them, are:

Level of Awareness:  The subconscious is just below conscious awareness, while the unconscious is deeper and often inaccessible to conscious thought. 

• Accessibility: Subconscious information can be recalled or brought to consciousness, while unconscious information is typically not readily available. 

• Focus:  The subconscious focuses on automatic processes and long-term memories, while the unconscious deals with deeper— often repressed, mental contents.

Consciousness —the conscious (thinking, perceiving, reasoning, contemplating, discerning mind) being awake and aware, with perception of the ‘world,’ you are living in: and with respect to ourselves as little worlds of awareness and experience: it is what we are living in, within, that is well known, perceived, seen, heard, and that we are aware of: the knowledge of things in our conscious awares.

The Lord has been shaking things like a snowglobe— tribulation— to raise things to the surface— making them ‘readily available to resolve in truth and love:’ fear, abandonment, rejection, no care, lost, scared, hurting in identity, reality vs. virtual, trauma based paradigms or behavioral patterns lodged and in play still.  Places where there are onion layers of trauma response, or trauma based reaction behavioral patterns— subconscious and unconscious — coming into the consciousness to be seen, heard, validated, felt, addressed— WITH THE LORD NOW; that he is desiring to, like shaking a container of water, where a bubble is trapped below— but needs to come up, and out, and pop, and go away into the spirit of God released; or like a gassy tummy— not good to keep this dross or waste actions, hurtful upset to our inner man (belly) in there: so the Lord will shake things up (tribulation) and he will cause the bubble to rise from the depths of the container (us, spirit, heart, soul, mind, whichever), to be brought through the subconscious (just below the surface) places in us— bubbling up from the unconscious (these are levels of burial of things), all the way to the consciousness of the man— to be realized, worked through with the Lord, and rid of— as we process it and release it, and work through it.

We work through it with him.  We process it.  The one things we really do not like to do as humans— is feel pain, like it’s going to kill us— outright; but it does not— we just fear pain, especially emotional, mental, belief kind of pain: because we have to face the belief patterns that resulted from experiential patterns of exposure to our heart, soul, and spirits in our lives here: and mostly we would like to NOT face pain and suffering.  But I have learned of him as of late that we definitely need to face it— because he’s bringing it up from one level of us, to another, all the way to the surface our man (consciousness) to be dealt with— to rid it from us: like a poison, contaminating us even still yet: Jesus cares way too much to leave us in that state; it’s not the state he created us in— and it needs salvation’s love and rectifying.

I have been going through this process where the Lord has dealt with many demonically enforced strongholds, for quite some time; and now he’s dealing with paradigms, or behavioral patterns that are still in action.  Sort of like an old military unit still active— who is based in the past, and does not know many more troops are available now, who have been trained up in modern warfare strategies to help them, assist them, and even relieve them: like they are stuck in time, with only the strategies they were given way back, in world war two: but now— we have Jesus, new help with heaven’s involvement, and new and better ways to be winning at this war that rages on in small, personal battles— in our lives; as the King who has already won the war— brings victory to our warfronts.

Like layers to an onion— the onion begins with its initial sprouting of growth.  But as the onion grows, it grows layer by layer— adding to the last layer, building itself up and reenforcing its strength: this is the example of how things happen, then as the original happening is similarly repeated— whatever we believed about the first happening— now gets reinforced in belief of ‘why’ it’s happening again.

The first time something happens— we, especially as young people (maturity wise) do not understand why things are happening; and we work really hard to reason it out: what caused this person to act toward me this way, why would they do this, what was their motive? And the likes of this type of reasoning within oneself.  Now, when we do not have the Lord, for example, early on in our lives— we are left to reason things of ourselves.  And when we do, as immature ones, as youngsters— we are often fatalists: we believe the worst, and blame ourselves as a causal unit: a person to blame.  And when we do—  we often turn into perfectionists, workaholics, and performance based minded people: “If only I were like this, and not that, they would not act toward me like this; or then I would approve of myself.”  And when we start to reason within ourselves that the way someone acts is because we are the problem— we set a broken paradigm of behavioral coping mechanism, where with we are attempting to rectify someone’s behaviors toward us— by changing ourselves as the basis of being the problem: just to receive some actions toward us we desire to come forth (and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t: when it works— we have set up a dysfunctional paradigm based in performance).

When we reason, for example, that the abusive, neglectful, traumatic behavior someone is acting out toward us— is based in our inadequacies in and of ourselves, and not that person’s dysfunction; we set up an ingrained behavioral paradigm of coping mechanism within us that will always point toward ourselves as the problem, and not the truth: the truth being— people behave the way they do toward others because they choose to, and it is a result of their own being and issues— not the person receiving such behavior.  But as a child or immature one (just not learned with the Lord yet, in the truth and love) a person will develop whatever they can fumble around with and find works in some way, shape, or form— just for them to survive: and sometimes— it turns on them, and the they become the object worthy to be torn down, even within themselves now— in mind, emotions, and reasoning— based in believing lies, instead of truth; because they didn’t have anyone bringing them truth and love— just messed up behavioral actions of hostility, blame, offense, rejection, abandonment, disapproval (critical fault finding), etcetera and so on; that has little to do with a child— AND MUCH TO DO WITH THE ADULT, or person who is supposed to be mature, behaving like the Lord in truth and love— but is not: and their are reasons why adults are like this— issues in their own lives and immaturity— not resolved yet; but we as children do not know this— so things get stuck inside of us, like a gassy bubble, not good for our internal system— and it needs to come up and be resolved, bringing in relief: so these paradigms must be addressed in our conscious man, and he has to drudge these things up, like a lake being drudged to cut the sea weed; the things that have grown deeply under the surface— but that are clogging free flow of the truth and love from coming forth and swimming in only that.

So we have to see that there is always an initial event.  Then, there is another event that causes us to feel the same things, hear similar things, reasoning similar responses internally in ourselves as to why someone is doing this type of behavior toward us (even ourselves), that leads to a belief system erected, like— “It must be me, I’m the problem.”  When it’s really never usually that (not that we are perfect and without cause, or perfect and never offend, but that) it is usually always about the work of maturity, healing, and being a healthy individual that the person who is acting out is walking in— not the person they are acting out toward (us).

When we have the initial event, then reinforcing events (similar ones to the first, in some way), then we begin to develop a trauma response of thought, emotion, and belief tied to ‘why’ someone is repeatedly doing this behavior toward us: and that is rooted in self being the problem— instead of each man being responsible for whether he moves in mercy and truth (agape love and forgiveness, genuinely, based in the life of Jesus), or not.

The truth is— each man is responsible for his own actions toward another: 

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Matthew 25:40-45

“And the King shall answer and say unto them— Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren— you have done it unto me.  Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand— Depart from me, you cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:  For I was a hungred, and you gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink:  I was a stranger, and you took me not in: naked, and you clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and you visited me not.  

Then shall they also answer him, saying— Lord, when did we see you a hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto you?

Then shall he answer them, saying— Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you did it not to one of the least of these— you did it not to me.”

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Should a man repent to the Lord, and as well change in his inward man, and seek to walk in the New Man creation of Jesus Christ— forgiveness will abound for these people.  And we are to walk in repentance, forgiveness, the fruits of the Spirit of God toward all— even those offenders of his way, truth, and life: and when we do— we are recovered of him.

When we can begin to see that what people act out toward us, even if we are difficult to handle as children— is still a reflection of their own growth in maturity, temperance, discipline of love, and the attributes of godliness— we will begin to heal up, and be able to resolve dysfunctional paradigms of behavior, trauma based coping mechanisms that result from dealing with hurting people— who are hurting other people.  And in order to do this— break down a behavioral pattern repeated as a coping strategy within ourselves, deeply in the hidden places of belief and reason for our actions (thoughts and emotions); we must ‘go through’ the internal chaos that is buried deep within (gas bubbles trapped), feel it all, live through the hard feelings that are brought to the surface, and sit with the Lord this time— and allow him to restructure the reasoning behind it all.  When he restructures the reasoning, the thoughts, that led to the reason you believe as you do— he can begin to resurrect your living spirit and heart of you— from this death grip within, rooted in false beliefs— lies— that have entangled us inside, deep within, in places we could not see— but God could; in the places where we knew something was amiss, but we couldn’t put a finger on it— because it was buried so deeply, and under so many layers (and truthfully, had infiltrated most of our way we relate to others in our relationships, based on early relationships on the homefront).

When we have so many reinforced layers— like the onion, building one upon the other, believing the same thing over and over, that paradigm of behavioral beliefs becomes strongly believed; almost like no one could tell you otherwise.  And the Lord will need to uncover one layer or so at a time— and deal with resolving these layers in us— until we come through it all— and are free.

This is why it seems like— “Man, Lord, I thought we dealt with that all before.  I understand what you are saying.  I understand you love me.  I understand the truth now, as you have explained it to me.  I am reading and believing your scriptural truth, and I am asking for it to be buried deep within me, and to come alive to your person in the truth and love of God: but here we are again.”

When this happens— it is because layers are coming forth that are still buried— like muscle memory— and these buried layers need to come up, and be stripped off: and he does this type of restructuring healing, mending— by one uncomfortable circumstance at a time.

For instance— I have been waking up in a ‘trauma based, unconscious, response,’ for a long time; not always— but often enough that I understand one thing: trauma is still buried that needs to come up and be dealt with— so it can be resolved (like something evaporating into God’s love and truth): this is the Love of God— that provokes all things unhealthy, trapped within the depths of our well— to be resolved; and resolved means— settled, solution achieved; in music it means— where once discordant, it is now harmonic— or in harmony (like peace, stable, healthy): with the root of the definition being— late Middle English (in the senses ‘dissolve, disintegrate’ and ‘solve (a problem)’: from Latin resolvere, from re- (expressing intensive force) + solvere ‘loosen’.

We often talk about bind and loosen— this is our Lord desiring to loosen us from something— so he can bind up our wounds— and have us become healed and whole again in his love and truth: he’s that good!

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Isaiah 61:1

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.”

Psalm 147:3

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Isaiah 30:26

“Moreover the light of the moon (bride) shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun (Son, husband) shall be sevenfold— as the light of seven days, in the day that the Lord binds up the breach of His people and heals the stroke of their wound.”

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We can have a contrite or broken spirit or heart— because of things like our brother’s plight, the plight of the Lord in the earth toward wayward man, or because of the brokenness of the original intentions of the Lord from the beginning— and things like this are godly good brokenness of spirit and heart.  But there is a brokenness of spirit and heart that is not healthy, or godly, but instead developed and established in a survival mode, outdated in need (because we have the Lord God now), and requiring to be dealt with to be gotten rid of, and eradicated from our being: in spirit and heart (mind, emotions, depths of our core person in soul).

If he were to attempt to bring all the ‘muscle memory’ to the surface at once— it would wreck us: it’s way too much to handle, way too many layers throughout the expanse of time in our lives, where these things were reinforced so many times within us.  He has to bring these things to the surface a bit at a time.  Sometimes in chunks removed, and sometimes in one situation at a time— because it’s so emotional and difficult to come through.

But something I desire for you to know and understand is this: not all circumstances will come up to be dealt with pertaining to fear/danger, and coping dysfunctional mechanisms revealed— with a clear memory; and fear has danger attached to it: so, what was perceived as ‘danger,’ when we established the coping mechanisms, repeated behaviors, and belief system within us?  Because that will be necessary to address with the Lord— because with him— we are safe, and this dysfunctional coping mechanism, and system of belief is no longer needed, nor beneficial: for we are not in survival mode now, with Jesus— BUT THRIVAL-MODE now with him: life, and life abundantly.  So, he will desire to get to the root— always— and reestablish us on solid ground of the truth, in the love of his person.   

For example— take my dream.  I was experiencing my parent leaving me, running away to deal with something they felt was detrimental and required attention— whilst leaving me behind, alone, abandoning me, at a huge event.  And I began to run around searching for my parent, panicking, scared, searching and looking on my own— as my parent figure was nowhere to be found by me, nor were they concerned for me; because they were oblivious to me, and was going after what drew their attention away from caring for me.  I searched and searched, ran, looked, went all over— but was never able to reunite with my parent, of my own efforts; and my parent never came looking for me, showing care or concern, love, or priority.  And in this dream— I saw virtual reality goggles in my purse— when I was looking for my phone; and I realized a couple of other things in this purse.

• It was not my normal purse— which speaks of a weird reality, or something noted about my identity in this realm: unfamiliar, but with me, and was mine.

• Next something hurt me while digging in there, as I touched sharp razors blades in there (like barber replacement razors).  I was not bleeding, but it caught me enough to hurt as I pulled away and recognized the presence of this sharp pricking in that purse, or identity (which represents my heart with strong pain pricking from these things in my identity, or purse, which carries our identity).

• Then I noticed small children’s toys in there, no chapstick, or money, or useful things an adult would have (save a cell phone), just children’s toys: which speaks to an identity weirdness issue, that pricks and hurts, related back to the foundation of me since childhood.

• But I did have a cell phone to call with.  Now, in the dream— I called my parent— but it went to voicemail; again— they were unavailable for me: can you see how this affects me now?  I am having to deal with my heavenly father, my parent, with all of this what my parents enacted toward me— because it is messing with my ‘parental’ beliefs, and it is touching how I have a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Father of us.  Why?

Because if I have ‘parental dysfunction’ paradigm and beliefs still rooted in muscle memory, stored, within me— but now understand who God is, and how messed up others are, and that their issues are not reflective of me; then God and I have work to do to release anything stored, like onion layers, still in me— to get it out— and to work from Jesus’ paradigm model now: health restored, truth restored, and love lived in.

If I have hang-ups, because stuff is still buried under the surface— he will desire to shake the unconscious store houses— and work it through the subconscious (just under the surface of consciousness), bringing it all the way to the consciousness of man, using one big ole pointer stick to the things needing attention: emotions.

Yes, emotions are arrows that point us to something they have to say.  It’s in listening to them that we will come and let them speak to us, with God in the room helping us sort them; and we will come to understand what they were shouting all these years, of the thoughts and beliefs we have stored up.  In an attempt to bring us resolution.  

When we have uncomfortable feelings— our subconscious, and unconscious man is trying to bring things up (our spirit man) to reveal things to our conscious man (our soul man) in the earthen realm (reality).  It is in an attempt to eradicate unhealthy things from us, to resolve them, thereby releasing them: the one thing we do not desire to do is swim with God in uncomfortable, painful, emotions: but we must.  For in going there with the Lord— they can be explored, listened to, reevaluated by God, truth spoken, love enacted, and then resolve and release those unhealthy beliefs, thoughts, trapped emotions with facts to bring forth; so that truth can be restored— when the lies are eradicated; and so that— we can ACTUALLY experience the love of God, as a parent or guardian figure who is for us— not rejecting us, who cares, not one who does not (as we know by his life lived, given, and sacrificed for us).  

We are desperately in need of EXPERIENCING God’s love and truth within us: but if there is a competing paradigm to his/him; he will need to root it up, let it bubble up to the conscious man, for it to be sorted, resolved, and relieve his man (child) in his heart and spirit: through the truth being addressed (in this case, the truth of him, verses my parent, as well as who he is as a parent, and as well— how deficient and bankrupt my parent was/is, and so did not deposit in me); and so his love— can be experienced into the deep parts of us.

If we have deep parts of our hearts and spirits that are in brokenness, even yet; then he will desire to release that stuff, as he shakes things, and brings it to the surface of the consciousness of us (our recognizing there’s a problem: like me waking and hyperventilating crying those— ‘heh hehs’ that happens to our breath when we suck in air quickly whilst crying— that were manifesting from deep within me, whilst unconscious).  There’s a reason why I am waking up experiencing this breathing pattern: because things are surfacing, still yet, even; and this is good.  It is good— because it’s coming up from the depths of my well, to be released and resolved with God’s help: one incident at a time.

He continues to tell me— “We will get your whole heart restored and recovered to me, Janet.”  And I know that’s not just about me, or for me— but you, as well.  But more on this in a minute.

• I also realized I had taken someone’s virtual reality goggles in my purse with me: which speaks of generated simulation in the 3D world image and environment— that can be interacted with as real in a physical way, by a person— sensory: that’s the literal definition of virtual reality.  And in my case— it was stating that in my identity, I have need to resolve some virtual reality components that God would like to address and resolve; because I have been carrying around a perspective (goggles) that was not real— based in perceived interactions with others in this realm (parents in this case) who were interacting in an environment within the physical realm (reality) where there were undesirable, uncomfortable, painful interactions of abandonment, no care, neglect, harsh behavioral actions undertaken toward me; that left me with baggage to deal with (trauma patterns, like depression, eating disorders, emotional triggers, buried fear and pain and suffering, as just some examples): because I noticed one other thing with me, not in my purse, but something in my other hand I carried.

• I noticed I was carrying a big bag of rubbish, or trash, or waste: and that baggage— I finally set down, and left it there in that scenario (circumstance in the dream).  I did not need it, nor want it, and left it there on the floor, and then the dream ended.

We have sensory input here, much like muscle memory stored as well— that needs to be sorted and resolved by the Lord; which will require us to ‘go there.’  I said I would address this with you all in just a moment, and so I will repeat this here:  “We will get your whole heart restored and recovered to me, Janet.”

I repeat this because we must understand— our Lord is desiring to heal us.  He is desiring to heal us with his love, and via his truth.  So— the truth can only go in and fill a place cleared for it.  So, where we have these things buried in us, in the well of our depths— he must first dislodge these buried things— to make room for his love in all the little crevices.

We often do not like this drudging things up— because of two reasons (bare minimum): 

1. We do not want to go through this because the emotions and thoughts are powerfully painful.

2. That we just want the process to be over (and truth be told, so does he, in full rescue of us).

Our Lord has compassion for us in this— and he is close to us in it all, he told us so— as he draws nigh to the contrite in spirit and heart.  And for the purpose of revealing things to our consciousness, to release the stuff that is blocking him— even when we don’t want to outrightly do so— from his love, coming in via the truth of his person— to every area of us: to restore us to health and relationship to the truth— which brings in experience to us with he who is love, and not all that we have experienced of detriment to us from others in this realm: who HE IS, as parent, friend, partner: and he is faithful, and true to his faithfulness, that is born in love for us.

So— he will give us ‘pointers,’ or flags, as often as needed (emotions do this, repeated thought patterns are pointer flags, as well) —so that we will come through this process with him; that if we continue to dread and dismiss going through, feeling all these emotions that have thoughts, reasoning, and beliefs tied to them; we will continue to ignore the Holy Spirit of God who is attempting to bring us ‘into’ all truth— the truth of his love; by bringing us out of the darkness, lies, false beliefs we have had stored within us— that are still in play in some sort of behavioral paradigm.

He’s attempting to change our paradigm— to his/him: and in this— he must uproot every other one.

So, for example, in my life: I must let him surface it all, pour through it with him, resolve the goggles issue of how I’ve been perceiving things (all the way back from what I developed as survival beliefs in childhood), to know the truth now, understand the truth now of what my parents were (pain, dysfunction, unresolved things within themselves) and were not full of (God, his attributes, maturity, etc, bankrupt) —and how that has ZERO barring on me, at all; and it’s rooted in their own lives: as well as— who God is, and that he is nothing like those who have walked not as he is.  He is kind, generous, thoughtful, patient, forgiving, gentle, joyful, peaceful, loving, and he prefers us over himself in every moment.

For many human beings in this soul realm of physical reality— we have been warped, twisted, bent, and broken in our hearts, minds, emotions, beliefs, spirits, and inner depths; but our God is the Creator who desires to resolve this— and bring us back into the truth being alive in us— not the broken paradigm— but the whole paradigm: which is Jesus Christ.  And he is a jealous lover.  He does not desire one part of you to remain estranged from him, his truth, or his love: so he will drudge up any and all things— until they are resolved.

Which means— we must address, that in which he brings to the surface— no matter if we desire to do so or not: for he knows what is best for us.  And folks— emotions will not kill you.  Confronting dysfunctional reasoning, beliefs, and dysfunctional paradigm behavioral patterns and waste stored up inside of us that needs to come up and out, and be popped like a bubble— released to Jesus, to be restored in his truth and love— will not kill you, either.

Broken soul/heart, and spirit (contrite), verses:

Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as are of a contrite spirit.”

Psalm 38:8

“I am feeble and sore-broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.”

Psalm 51:17

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

Psalm 69:20

“Reproach has broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.”

Proverbs 15:13

“A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart— the spirit is broken.”

Proverbs 17:22

“A merry heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

Isaiah 57:15

“For thus saith the high and lofty One —who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, and with him also —who is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

Isaiah 66:2

“For all those things has my hand made, and all those things have been— saith the Lord: but to this man will I look— to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembles at my word.”

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We CAN have broken hearts and spirits— but he understands this WELL, and seeks to bring resolution to this state of being; by bringing us ‘into’ his state of being and person, and out of all the old regime and rhetoric.

Regime— government, and way of doing things, imposed upon.

Rhetoric— verbosity and expression, of what is persuasively spoken.

Our Lord is attempting to save us from what has been spoken (by others, or self, internally) and thusly— believed, deep within, that needs eradication; so that a new governor (him/headship), and new way of doing things imposed upon us from ‘above,’ shall be established in life, and life abundantly!

He’s working his workmanship in us, to recover us, and reconnect us, reconcile us in all areas of our person: deep within the well springs of our lives, at the core of us: spirit or soul/heart.  And he will do this a bit at a time— as we can handle it.  He knows what he’s doing; he tells me this all the time.  So, I, as well as you— need to meet him in these circumstances, and issues he brings to the surface (with the pointer flags that help us see their is an issue: emotions, for they have something to reveal to us about what we think, reason, believe, and have been living out in the un, and sub, consciousness of us (which means— places of burial and deposit/stored).

Muscle memory means— the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement.  So— when the ‘muscle memory,’ or, repeated actions continue, indefinitely to be repeated (consciously or unconsciously); they have the ability to reproduce (because of that same pattern repeated) the same result— because of frequent repeat of the same paradigm (or behavioral pattern): even when it’s un, or sub, conscious.

So— he who desires to save us, heal us, mend us, and return us to wholeness in love and truth; he will bring all of this to the surface: which is really cool, actually, because it means it is no longer hidden— but being exposed.  And all darkness is exposed and revealed in the Light: the truth and love of God.  And when it is exposed— it can then be eradicated —in death to it.

God is coming to save us, and make us whole again— in him: truth and love.  And for him to do this— his jealous love will provoke anything in us that we need to eradicate (by sorting through it with him, one thing at a time) to make room for his love and truth to fill those spaces— with his paradigm (or model of truth and love).

So, dear child of God.  I was recording some of this for a dear sister in Christ, who has been given over to studying the Word of God (both written, and the living God himself), who hears from him, communes with him, serves him in righteousness and holiness; but who could not figure out— ‘Why the disturbing dreams of fear?  Why the continued dysfunctional stuff coming up inside of me?  Why does this not seem to end?’

And I would venture to say the same to her (and you), that the Lord said to me: a word from the Lord Jesus. 

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“It will be gone, when it is resolved and dissipates as we come all the way through the process of eradication— into the process of infilling with the truth and love again; in the spaces that formerly competed against my love and truth— based in the paradigm of behavior erected— through survival mode in this realm.  For when survival modalities are no longer needed (because you have come into my truth and love, and it’s alive inside of you now, and all the death has been removed) —the only things that will remain— is love and truth (me).  And I will have filled all those formerly contentious places of adversity— that were there, alive, and still in play in the hiddenness of the soul and spirit; that were competing with my truth and love.  

We have need, Janet, in yourself, and the others— to resolve these things, as I drudge up these paradigms, one at a time— that need resolution correction, and eradication: so that I can establish the model of Jesus, and my love and truth, according the paradigm (model) of Jesus now.  Simply put dear— there are places where people, like parents— still have established within my children— that are contrary to me, and have damaged my children: and things are stored up in this muscle memory— that need to be released.  

So— I am shaking in tribulations, for things to come up— so they can come out, pop, and be no more.

I need them to do as you will be doing with me— until all the pain, all the suffering, all the dysfunction, all the coping mechanisms of trauma— are gone, and resolved— in my truth and love.  I will do this— patiently, gently, and with much focus— until I save to the uttermost, dear child.  So, partner with me in this.  I know it is not easy— but going ‘through it,’ is necessary— in coming ‘out of it.’  And you all— are desiring to be made whole in my love and truth again:  I have a process to it all— and must do it my way for it to be fully conquered: he who overcomes, he who endures to the end— shall be saved: this is that, dear children.

Come with me.  You will have to trust me.  You will have to venture in with me, and let it all come up: BUT I WILL BE THERE, WITH YOU, AND WE CAN DO THIS!  I will not forsake you in it.  I will support you in it.  I will hear all the tears, all the painful stories or memories.  I will take it all in stride— and in fact— desire deeply to do so, and take it all from you: so it does not need to be stored up inside anymore, in the depths of you.

Janet, in deliverance— we break down strongholds and eradicate critters lived with inside.  But in healing— we go in and recover a person from dysfunction—- and bring them back into health and wholeness.  This paradigm, behavioral, repeated survival mode coping mechanisms— developed deep within the confines of the structure of man’s heart and soul— that can affect the spirit man as well; all this needs to be eradicated— so that MY PARADIGM (the truth of me and my love) CAN ACTUALLY BECOME ALIVE IN YOUR INWARD PARTS.  Until then— I am jealous for you, and I will do everything I can to attempt to bring my people into understanding this process— so that they will partner with me.

Here, Janet, I am going to say something to you, about you, personally; in context of what I am doing, asking of you, taking you through, and how you actually ARE making a difference— even when you are in the midst of the process, and not yet ‘through it’ completely, and out the other side: because you have spoken in your deep unknown places— that you perceive you are no help to them without a full healing testimony in me yet; but I beg to differ with you, and enlighten you in this.

You see— it is not you who is helping them to resolve their dilemmas and situations dear, but me.  So— take the pressure off of yourself in this, that you must be resolved already— to be used to enlighten.  I am doing the enlightening to them ‘through’ you, as my vessel.  And I will be the same one to walk them through this process— as they take my hand.  The strength of your battle, or process to come through as you face all of this with me— is not going to have one iota of hindrance to them choosing to go through this deliverance (from the pain and suffering and dysfunction) and healing (mending them in the release and reestablishment of my truth and love erect and filling them now, lived in) —as they venture into this same process with me.  You are a facilitator, dear, as I use you to enlighten them: you are the candle in the world that brings the light of the truth and person of.  I am the light— and I will help them with it all, as you are being helped with all of this.

You do have a testimony, even thus far; and the testimony is this: You and your Father are working together, in union, facing difficult imbedded and engrained behavioral patterns, born in dysfunction, born from lies and self blame, or self perceived dysfunction— leading to self loathing: unconsciously and subconsciously— rooted in trauma sustained.  THAT— is the beginning of a developing testimony, dear, that will come to a full fruition resolved testimony— in time; as we escort out— the darkness, lies, and engrained reactionary responses to said trauma and belief patterns; as we walk directly into the light and love of the truth.

Each time we exit the darkness— we enter the light.  Each time we enter the light— we deal with the darkness; and layer by layer we release a little more that needs eradication and resolve in my love and truth: embrace that— for every time you do, you are encountering me (even if in pain and sorrow, trauma, grief, and loss being addressed); you are encountering the person, love, and integrity of God to show you the TRUTH toward you, founded in my deep and profound love; shown to you— in my patience, gentleness, joy to receive you in any condition to make you better in my love, my kindness, my understanding heart, my desire to save you in all ways, and bring you peace to your heart, soul, and spirit— because we have dealt with that which was unhealthy for you, and buried in the hidden places.

I have a mission I am on— and that mission is to save, and to save to the uttermost: I desire to let nothing go— but to deal with everything my children have need to deal with, that is separating them from me, love, and peace: period.

Come with me, join me.  Walk with me into all this unknown, scary stuff— and I promise you— I will bring you into, through, and out the other side of it all: healed, and whole.  But you MUST— walk with me on this path to recovery; and it will require you to be brave— in the face of fear.  Because the reason fear is present in my people— is because the knowledge of God is not there— where wholeness of love casts out all fear and torment of no love presence.

If there are places within my people who are bound up in repeated patterns still playing out from the unconscious and subconscious— then I must go in, where I search all hearts— and bring it up to be dealt with: because it is you who must deal with this, but I will help you; for it is your heart, mind, spirit, soul, and beliefs: but I desire to bring you ‘into’ the truth of my love and person, and out of all the darkness, and pain, grief, and loss of true identity in me— that you have suffered in this life: bringing into being an OVERCOMER with me: overcoming all the darkness buried— as we release it in light of my love and truth: the real me— who is desiring to reveal myself to you, and who you are to me: AND YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO ME.

I cannot change the facts that you have endured and experienced these painful things in your life experience in this realm; BUT— I can give you NEW EXPERIENCE with: the way, the truth, and the life of ME, NOW, in this realm of being a living soul in an earthen vessel.

Let me speak with you about what is buried within you, and why, and what we need to release— so that I can come in and fill the dark chamber.  Not every dark chamber is where a devil is— some are dark, simply put— because the light has yet to fill it.  I would like to fill these dark, void, formless places within my people; by getting to the surface— the survival mode coping mechanisms and behaviors based in trauma sustained; and bring into them— life, and life abundantly in truth and love.

Part of that is letting these things come fully up, speaking about them, sorting them out with me; seeing that the people who behaved a certain way had need of deliverance and healing themselves, as you do; and in this— we forgive, as we forgive ourselves, for setting into play survival mode reasoning, understanding, and beliefs about ourselves; that led to dysfunctional behavioral patterns, and pain and suffering trapped within the heart/soul, spirit, or body— in muscle memory, from repeated exposure.  When you realize that I am simply going to ask you to release another layer— as it is time to do so; and you will do this with me: eventually— we peel the whole onion: and now there is no more onion— and the only thing left is the fruit of the Lord, formed in peace, born of the truth and love of God being established a little more, and more, and more— until its FULL, in your whole person: and your whole person— is whole in the fullness of love and truth.

I have good reason for all I do, and all I ask: and I am asking of you to join me in this process of releasing a little bit more, and a little bit more, and a little bit more— until it’s done: because, like you all— I WANT IT TO BE PERMANENTLY DONE IN YOU ALL, AS WELL!  So, partner with me— and release, and come into the truth with me, again, and again, and again— until we get it all out, every bit of pain and suffering, grief and loss, darkness, and dysfunction: because— I do, in the end— get my workmanship of salvation and wholeness restored— DONE, IN ALL OF MY CHILDREN.

But I am desiring to do as much as you will with me— IN THIS REALM; so you are helped— IN THIS REALM OF YOUR LIVES.

And like your dream, Janet: I have need for my children to virtually see properly— with the right lens they are looking through about their identities in me (my perspective), and I need them see that painful things are there (in that purse) that are pricking them— that I would like to deal with, and that it goes back to childhood— often, and that— there is a phone and phone number to call; not a phone and phone number to call your earthly counterparts— but me: call home to your real identity; and I promise you— I will pick up, every time, and answer you in my love and truth.

Come with me— out of the darkness, and the darkness out of you— one thing at a time to face, release, sort and explore with me: so we can get the truth into those void, formless places— where my love and truth need to be born and brought alive in you: one experience with me at a time, until it’s all resolved, dissipated, and peace and union with my love and truth is restored.

Because, dear— I am on a mission; and I always finish what I start: but I desire for my children to join me in this— in the earth; so that it will ‘benefit them’ whilst still yet in the earth: why wait till you leave this realm— to resolve what we can resolve, fix, and heal— NOW: if only you will walk this hard path with me, I will be faithful to you; and I will finish a workmanship, and encouragement, and edification and rebuilding of your inward places— that only God could do, and desires to.

It will take bravery— because you will face fear: but there's no bravery or courage— outside of the presence of fear: but fear not to face fear— for I obliterate fear in the face of the countenance of my love and truth: come with me— into the light, and release the stored up paradigms of dysfunction— based in your experiences: see the truth, come into the truth, and eventually— the truth will come alive in you in all the little areas— and make you free in my love and truth.

If there is an area still hurting, still affected in you that is paining the both of us: I will seek to eradicate the affliction— and resolve it in my love and truth: come, join me in this process— and go through it, releasing it all through tears and conversation; as we bring up all of the what happened, or what you believe— and cast that out, whilst establishing the truth and love of God, exposing the darkness to the light, as many times as we have need of.

Who told you it’s a ‘one and done,’ in the realm of healing and deliverance?  

Who told you that if you still suffer God is not with you, or you are out of faith?  

Who told you your relationship with me is not in good standing— just because we have more layers of an onion to eradicate— so that that the fruit of God (Jesus Christ) be yet more established in you?

Hear me, and hear me well— you are done, when you are done.  You are healed when you are healed.  And until then— you and I are on a recovery mission of your inner man: and I do not stop until I am successful in all things: I am faithful, Almighty, and finish what I start— ALWAYS: for I am the same yesterday, today, and forever— and can be relied upon.

I am rescuing you, still— does this not appeal to you?  Because it appeals to me.  I find it desirable where my love has been hindered within a man’s heart, soul, mind, emotions, body, spirit— whatever, and wherever that is.  Does this not please you?  Do you think— that you are not profitable until you are perfect, whole, in all ways, and in all things?  For I assure you— where you are, all of you, is a place you can still impact others with the light, truth, and love of God— as you yet know me.

I am only stating that I would desire for you to KNOW ME, have a KNOWLEDGE of me— that supersedes what you already know and have of me: until you know me FULLY, in your person, in every way; and you are FREE, FULLY, in my love and truth.

That is a beautiful promise and workmanship of God in, and toward you all, is it not!?

So, let's get you all more, and more, and more freedom in the love and truth of God— where and when you need it.  Is that not desirable to you?  For it is desirable to me: and I can handle it all, and in fact— desire to; as you come to me— and release each layer to me, until we get it all out.

Because dear— then, and only then— can I have all of your heart; when the truth is alive in you in all places of the depths of you: and your spirit, soul/heart, and body are freed in my love.  

I am on a mission to recover all: will you join me?  I promise— it will benefit you richly, in Christ Jesus, to do so.”

—Jehovah Rapha 

(your healer and restorer)

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